Monday, July 20, 2009

Wow! it's been a while

Hi all,
I sooo miss my Chiari friends.

So, Living in a small apartment as Resident Managers with Hillcrest Ministries is great! We have the space for about 20 families. Rehabbing has gone slow but we finally have several units ready to go. Michael and I love being here and just know the way it all panned out was a total God thing.

My mom ~ WOW what a different relationship we have with her being terminally ill. Not that things have changed alot on my part~that nasty,negitive,ole bithcy woman is gone and now I have this much gentler woman as my mom and our time is limited.She has gone through 3 rounds of chemo and we have now found out that she has blocked arteries. Of course she has lost all of her hair, She is very cute and since April she has lost over 70 pounds. She is living with my grandparents. I am so thankful they have the space and still in their 80's the ability to care for her. We talk every day and I am over there doing what I can at least twice a week. We still are not clear on how much time we have but I have let go of all the crap and am just enjoying her now. On her really bad days I must admit I do pray God will take her so she doesn't have to suffer. One of the big things causing both she and I stress right now is my sister. Stacy has become very manic.She says we all want her (my sister) dead and that I say she is the reason my mom and I are sick.She lives so far away that she is not here for the day to day things with my mom or myself so I feel that some of what Stacy is feeling is guilt. Stacy left a message with Michael and my daughter last Friday that she was going into the hospital for a couple of weeks. I spent most of my morning calling hospitals and the only numbers I have looking for her and I came up with nothing. If you are reading this and pray I would ask that you please lift Stacy and her family up.

I have applied for SSD. This past weekend I did the mental evaluation and physical exam. Of course I expect to be denied at least my first time.
One of my biggest issues right now is my blood pressure. We have had a hard time getting it under control since May. The highest was just the other day at 154/104. My Fibromyalgia is just out of control. I was supposed to see Dr.Oro the 28th of May for my TC surgery but my family doctor would not release me for that surgery due to the blood pressure. The issues are endless it seems but I just lay in bed instead of shaking my fist at our Lord. After all I am not dying as is my mom so I just try to cope. Michael and my kids are very good to me and are very understanding of my daily pain and the fact that I can make plans to do anything.

I hope you all are well. It's raining here so if it is in you r area too~try to stay dry.


lace1070 said...

I will keep you and your fam in my prayers. I pray that the trials strengthen all of you. So sorry to hear that your TC surgery has been delayed due to BP issues, but I am sure that going into surgery with high BP is not a good idea. I hope that you get it under control so that you get the relief you need. Big hugs ! Lace

Patti said...

Glad to see you back! Missed hearing how you are doing~hope things continue to get better for you and your family. God is in control!
Fellow chiarian~Patti

chiari said...

Hope you feel relief soon. God is good no matter what it may feel like sometimes. I have ongoing ACM symptoms and will be having posterior fossa decompression surgery in a few days ... my hope comes from the Lord.