survived the heart monitor

I think I am going to survive the next 20 minutes with this heart monitor. Is it monitor or moniter??
I had several episode's I had to write down and give sympotoms and activity levels when I felt my heart going crazy.
I am feeling very stressed and uncomfortable today.It is becoming more difficult for me to enjoy providing childcare in my home. Noise is really starting to be an issue for me as well as the pain I deal with daily.Financially we don't have a lot of options right now.
Is it ok just to have bad day's? Sierra is mad at me,I think she thought because her boyfriend didn't go to work today I should of let her stay out of school to be with him.That didn't happen.
I guess maybe I should just close right now.I am a mix of feelings and emontions and I don't want to sound like an ungreatful bitch.
Til next time
Lolo