alone at last

I am finally home by myself!!! SSSSHHHH I better not say that to loud cause some one is sure to come "check " on me.
Doing about the same as yesterday. My headache is about a 3 today and not the 6 it was yesterday. I am still very upset at my stomach.This has me a bit confused because I didn't have stomach issue's before surgery.My headache is in the right side of my head more so today than yesterday. I have some lower back pain and my left foot is just tinglin away.
I am hoping some of this head pressure will be gone Friday once we get the staples out.
Michael and I talked and cryed and went for a ride last night.I just want to be so much better than I am right now.We know that in a couple of ways like as far as my hand pain the surgery has helped but in other ways I am not noticing any improvement yet.Yes,I know surgery was just last week. I expected more. Any way,I have this list of over 40 things that have been issues for me since the chiari,Michael and I deceided to print those things off on the computer and check them off as I am no longer feeling them so that I can see that things are changing.
Another thing that has us bugged- me of course more than him- is that I have not "felt" my job in a long time.I do not want to go back to work. For many years I have spent my life taking care of wonderful daycare darlings.There is no longer any passion in this for me it is just a paycheck that we need.On the flip side-we only have one form of transportation and Michael takes that daily,the kids come to me-I don't have to get out of the house in bad weather or heat,I can keep my place clean and still have the darlings here and I make good money so what is the problem??? I am wondering as I do if these things like only one car ect... are God telling me this is where He wants me and that I need to get over myself.
Any thoughts,feelings and or advice from you I would be greatly open too.
Lolo