Rick's new book

If you haven't read Rick's new book~ you must~.I got my book in the mail yesterday about 4 central time and as of 1 central time (less than 24 hours ) I am done with it.It is WONDERFUL and I can't wait for my family to read it.I know that many of you have been dealing with your chiari or tethered cord or what have you longer than I have....Where are you with your new life? I mean are you angry,or over being angry and you have accepted this new phase in your life,are you sad that life has changed so much,have you overcome and now you can help others? I have NO IDEA where I am~ I think I may still feel completely numb.
I wanted to think I was over the anger but than I read the book and I'm not clear on that.Did I ever get angry ....Have I broke down and cryed yet....I honestly don't know where I am in this journey and for some reason that bothers me.I think because I wanted to push it all under the rug.I was the one that did everything at home and at church, I was in control.I have had to let go of all my church activities,I have cut down in my job and am even looking to move to a MUCH smaller space.I thought I was ok with all of this now I question that. I want to be at the point where I can say "this chiari is not going to control me I am going to control the chiari". I'm not thinkin I'm close to that yet.I guess I am at the -poor me-stage.This morning I was thinkin after the last baby left I was going to go get my nails done after all St.Paddy's day is over so the green's gotta go.This afternoon there isn't a chance I feel like getting out of the house to sit in a nail salon for 2 hours no matter how bad I need it.
I am off tomorrow so that is good.I have that heart test where they inject medicine and than-------------------I don't know what they do but they said I should expect to be with them most of the morning.If that isn't bad enough I can't have pop,tea,coffee or chocolate.
I'll let ya know if I survive this.
Lolo