DDD

It is still hot and we still have no working a/c.
My regular doctor's office called yesterday to say that the spinal MRI says degenerative disk disease in my lumbar spine.I will send the cd off to Dr.Oro Friday and see if he agree's and what if anything can or should be done about it.
I talked to my dad last night and he is still going to Colorado with me.He made reservations to stay at the same place we are staying.I guess we will do dinner Monday night and he will be there through surgery and see how things are going before he decide's when he'll head back home.He drive's over the road and doesn't get paid if he doesn't work so he doesn't plan on staying with me the entire time I am there.
I think today I started getting a bit nervous about the surgery.Maybe just everything in general~I'm not sure.At my appointment with Dr.Oro a few weeks ago I don't recall hearing him say..... you need surgery. Michael heard it loud and clear but I just am not remembering that part of our conversation.I find myself not really even thinking about it to much until today.I'm not freakin out or anything.I do have an upset stomach I assume it is nerves and if talking to the right person I could probably break down but so far not so much.I have always had to be the strong one,for mom,my kids,my sister and at times for Michael so I think I am feeling I need to be strong for every one now too. Plus part of me is thinking ~your not ganna die so what's the big deal~I don't know,maybe I am just cold hearted and won't get all weepy about it.I find that I have to put on so many faces,my fake happy face for the daycare darlings mommies when they come to get the kids,the strong face for my kids,the oh it's no big deal face for my grandparents and the I am not going to die face for my mom and my sister that I just get lost in those faces and feel like I don't have time to focus on my real feelings about what is coming up in less than a month.So I haven't -until today.
I think I'll have Michael send the little darlings home tonight and I will go to my room and just be alone for a bit. Normally I would just eat- I am an emontional eater but I am really trying to work on that cause I know any extra weight is not good for my back.
I also been thinking lately about my hair.I have really short hair-almost spikey like short so I am not freakin' about the back of my head being shaved and I am not concerned about going anywhere in public except church.We sit in the same spot every Sunday~5 pew's from the front.Michael thinks I need to wear a hat or scarf when we go to church so that those behind us will not be offended. I am not feeling like I need to cover my head up.Any suggestions anyone???
If ya all figure out where I am in this whole chiari thing please feel free to share.
Lolo